While reading The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri, I found myself fascinated by the relationship between the two main characters: Ashoke and Ashima. I am completely aware that marriage issues is not the main theme Jhumpa Lahiri is trying to convey, yet I couldn't help but notice the difficult question raised by the relationship between the two of them:
In order for a marriage to be successful, do both parties have to be "meant for each other" from the start? Does it need to be sparked by undoubtable love and affection? Or can two completely different people ultimately grow together through the hardships they endure and eventually find love once they've shared enough of their lives with each other?
It's clear from the start that Ashoke and Ashima don't exactly "hit it off". I mean, the poor girl didn't even learn his name until after the betrothal (Lahiri 9). Not that she ever really uses it. Lahiri writes that "instead of Ashoke's name, [Ashima] utters the interrogative that has come to replace it, which translates roughly as 'Are you listening to me?' " (2). None of this is really a surprise seeing as she didn't choose her husband-- he was chosen for her.
However, just because they don't exactly "click" doesn't mean that they're bad people. In fact, Ashoke can often be very caring. For example, "before [Ashoke] left for the university he would leave a cup of tea by the side of the bed" (11) while she slept during her pregnancy. She wouldn't drink it, but it's the thought that counts, right?
Perhaps they would be happier together under different circumstances. The main difference that takes a tole on their relationship is their feelings about America. Ashima absolutely hates it and feels completely homesick. Poor Ashoke "[feels] at fault, for marrying her, for bringing her [there]" (33), but at the same time he can't leave. Her greatest regret is coming, and his would be going back. This dilemma doesn't really allow them to connect much with each other.
The first year of their son's birth is not an easy one. Are all the hardships weighing on their relationship, or is it only strengthening their bond? What do you think?
