While reading The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri, I found myself fascinated by the relationship between the two main characters: Ashoke and Ashima. I am completely aware that marriage issues is not the main theme Jhumpa Lahiri is trying to convey, yet I couldn't help but notice the difficult question raised by the relationship between the two of them:
In order for a marriage to be successful, do both parties have to be "meant for each other" from the start? Does it need to be sparked by undoubtable love and affection? Or can two completely different people ultimately grow together through the hardships they endure and eventually find love once they've shared enough of their lives with each other?
It's clear from the start that Ashoke and Ashima don't exactly "hit it off". I mean, the poor girl didn't even learn his name until after the betrothal (Lahiri 9). Not that she ever really uses it. Lahiri writes that "instead of Ashoke's name, [Ashima] utters the interrogative that has come to replace it, which translates roughly as 'Are you listening to me?' " (2). None of this is really a surprise seeing as she didn't choose her husband-- he was chosen for her.
However, just because they don't exactly "click" doesn't mean that they're bad people. In fact, Ashoke can often be very caring. For example, "before [Ashoke] left for the university he would leave a cup of tea by the side of the bed" (11) while she slept during her pregnancy. She wouldn't drink it, but it's the thought that counts, right?
Perhaps they would be happier together under different circumstances. The main difference that takes a tole on their relationship is their feelings about America. Ashima absolutely hates it and feels completely homesick. Poor Ashoke "[feels] at fault, for marrying her, for bringing her [there]" (33), but at the same time he can't leave. Her greatest regret is coming, and his would be going back. This dilemma doesn't really allow them to connect much with each other.
The first year of their son's birth is not an easy one. Are all the hardships weighing on their relationship, or is it only strengthening their bond? What do you think?
Eliana,
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with your thoughts on the relationship between Ashima and Ashoke. While I was reading the first chapter, I found myself constantly wondering and asking different questions about their relationship. They are very different people, and I am curious as to why Ashima moved to Cambridge in the first place and has continued to live in Massachusetts for so long. I think that their child together is going to cause them a lot of problems because of their different views of America. I feel like they want to raise their child in different ways, and eventually, they are going to run into a lot of problems. Especially because Ashima doesn’t want to raise Gogol in America, and she wants to move back to India and raise him in a place where she is comfortable and surrounded by a supportive community, instead of being all alone. She feels like she is part of a community in India, and like an outsider in America. Overall, I think that this is a great post!
- Sydney
Hey Eliana,
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I also had that question in the back of my mind. I think that this novel takes place in a very different time period and region where they have different tradition. Marriage is something that is arranged and pre-planned. Ashima probably knew that marriage to a stranger was inevitable and that she would have to live with the consequences, good and bad. In terms of their relationship and connection, I think they are taught to work through the hardships and struggles. They are all each other have, especially in the foreign country of America, so I think they have to comfort and care for each other. Fighting and all that would just lead them to feeling more like an outsider and a foreigner. I also believe that Ashoke needs to be kind and comforting being that he is the one that brought Ashima to the United States, even though she didn't want to. I guess we will just have to see how they work through their marriage in a new community with two kids as we keep reading!
-Maddy